Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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