i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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