Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
