I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
