you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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