I hate your face
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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