She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
