i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
