i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
