The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
