Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
