so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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