we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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