This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
