dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
