he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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