Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
