Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
