my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
