The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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