The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
