ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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