$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
