i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
