Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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