just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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