Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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