Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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