Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
