He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
