my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
