my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
