I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got inside last night via doggy door
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
