Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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