In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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