no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
