all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
