just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
