look no pants
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
