Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ttyl tear gas
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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