So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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