i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
