I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
