I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
