Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
