i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
