When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
