what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
