Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
