Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We are all done wearing pants today
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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