If i come over, it means nothing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
