they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
